I think I’m going crazy. Or maybe I’m the only one left who isn’t. Around here, it’s hard to tell.
Two years ago today I returned to Germany from Iraq. Strangely, the weather that day was remarkably similar to today's in Afghanistan. Rainy, cold, dark. When the dust of the countryside kicks up into the air or the clouds cover the mountains in the distance, everything feels so isolated. My sphere of awareness has become the short distance from my work building to the dining facility and my room in between. One straight line less than 200 meters that has defined my life for the last 5 months. Maybe that’s what upsets me the most, that by this time 2 years ago I had experienced and learned so much, but now every day is exactly the same, and nothing I do ever matters. That’s how it feels sometimes anyway. Frustrating doesn’t begin to describe it.
But I’m still here, making the most of it, learning a lot about what doesn’t work in this kind of war, and how not to manage and influence people. If, when it’s all over, I am only able to take away negative lessons that someday I can apply in a positive way, well, I suppose that’s worth something. It has to be, otherwise I’m REALLY wasting my time.
There is a lot more to say about it all, but it's mostly just angry ranting about how people are idiots. At least the ice cream here is awesome.
Kopf hoch David! Noch knapp 3 Wochen, dann kannst du hoffentlich mal ein bisschen abschalten und den Programmwechsel genießen. Und noch 210 Tage.. dann hast du diese deprimierende, langweilige und öde einsame Zeit hinter dir! Das schaffst du. Denk einfach nur an schöne Zeiten, freu dich deines Lebens und auf das , was noch kommen wird. Ich möchte allerdings nicht mit dir tauschen - zumindest nicht im Moment. Und ich kann mir gut vorstellen, dass es für dich dort einfach nicht schön ist. Aber wir schaffen das!! Wir sind hier in Gedanken immer bei dir und dein Familie in USA auch. Also halt durch und sei stark! Wir vermissen dich alle und freuen uns auf die Zeit, wo du wieder bei uns bist!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYes! Christine speaks for all of us. I can add nothing to her beautiful comments other than I'm glad you've discovered that awesome ice cream is the key to life, the universe and everything.
ReplyDeleteI believe we learn as much, if not more, from the negative experiences and finding out the things that "don't work" as we learn from the good times. Knowing what you DON'T want is just as important and actually helps you to define what you DO want.
ReplyDeleteAnd hell... if the experience comes with awesome ice cream... well really, what more could you ask for ? :) xoxox