I think I’m going crazy. Or maybe I’m the only one left who isn’t. Around here, it’s hard to tell.
Two years ago today I returned to Germany from Iraq. Strangely, the weather that day was remarkably similar to today's in Afghanistan. Rainy, cold, dark. When the dust of the countryside kicks up into the air or the clouds cover the mountains in the distance, everything feels so isolated. My sphere of awareness has become the short distance from my work building to the dining facility and my room in between. One straight line less than 200 meters that has defined my life for the last 5 months. Maybe that’s what upsets me the most, that by this time 2 years ago I had experienced and learned so much, but now every day is exactly the same, and nothing I do ever matters. That’s how it feels sometimes anyway. Frustrating doesn’t begin to describe it.
But I’m still here, making the most of it, learning a lot about what doesn’t work in this kind of war, and how not to manage and influence people. If, when it’s all over, I am only able to take away negative lessons that someday I can apply in a positive way, well, I suppose that’s worth something. It has to be, otherwise I’m REALLY wasting my time.
There is a lot more to say about it all, but it's mostly just angry ranting about how people are idiots. At least the ice cream here is awesome.